Monday, October 13, 2014

Loving Big Families Mail Box: Feeling Isolated

Can you help this mama out?

Hi. I am a mother to seven. My children are 19 years old down to 2 years old. I find that my biggest obstacle is isolation. It has slowly happened over the years with my big family. I used to be different and enjoy friends and other outings when I had less children. I would like to meet other big families over a group. It would really help to not feel so alone and mostly overwhelmed with my plate so full. I want to enjoy my family and not feel so tasked out.

I can totally relate to you! Although you have me beat in children by 3, I have struggled with this. I used to be the type of person who couldn't sit at home and was always open to getting out of the house and doing things with family and friends. But, as our family grew, it just became too much of a chore.

A lot of smaller families simply don't understand what it takes to get everyone ready and out the door. Not to mention, not losing anyone and taking care of a large family when you're out and about. There is so much laundry and chores to be done, and it's often easier just to stay at home.

Connecting with other large families who understand what you're going through it very important. It's a completely different world when you're raising a lot of children when compared to one or two, and you need people who can relate to you.

I have been able to find a few other large families in my area through Facebook groups specifically for moms. Loving Big Families does have a Facebook group, although it's really small right now, we hope it will grow to bring more large families together. You can also search for area specific parenting groups to try to meet new large families.

Our Facebook page also has many other mothers to large families on it. Maybe you can meet some people there. I have also found that joining playdate groups on Facebook allows your to connect with other large families, too.

It's really nice finding large families to hang out with because they understand the chaos, and don't mind the large energy and often dirty house that comes with many children.

Although I couldn't be more of a help directly connecting you with families, I hope you feel not as alone. I know there are many other mamas to large families who feel the same way, myself included.

Do you have any advice for this mama? Do you feel the same way? How have you learned to connect with other large families?

Do you have a question, need help, or advice? Contact the Loving Big Families Mail Box today!


  1. From the Facebook page: Babycenter used to have a large family group, and it was relatively active last I checked. Although, that was probably a year ago. You might also check to see if there are any groups in your area.

  2. From Facebook Group: It'sexactly how u feel I am only 32 and got 7 of my own children and a adopted daughter. It is a challenge everyday for sure

  3. Same here! I have 8 kids - 23yrs down to 2yrs.I gave up my career for the kids; pretty much gave up all that I was for them. Everything I do is for them, but if I had to do it again, I would. It's just the type of parent I am- all or none; I don't know how to be in between. The thing is, you get lonely, even amongst the business (as in busy-ness!) of it all, simply because there's no one else around who understands what your day to day is like. Friends ditched me when I kept having kids and they stopped. If you vent to someone, you always run the risk of them saying, "Well, you're the one who had them all!"-something I hate to hear. Of course I know what I got myself into! If I wasn't so old (45), I'd have more! Why? Because each one is special, different, and definitely not redundant (we have 4 boys and 4 girls). I love watching their lives unfold, seeing what they become. I don't know of big families in my area, either. We are always the biggest in the schools. We just celebrated 20yrs with the same pre-school! I would always be willing to talk to someone, if they wanted. I'm out here, ready to listen and share!

    1. I feel the same way. If you even try to vent, it gets thrown back in your face. As crazy as things can get, I wouldn't have it any other way. If even a couple of the kids aren't home, the house is just WAY too quiet.