Wednesday, October 15, 2014

How a Parent of a Bullied Child Can Help

A child getting bullied is a common problem that often seems like there is no solution to make it stop. As parents, it's a difficult thing to watch if your child happens to be the victim of bullying. Luckily, there are things parents can do to help their children if they should happen to be the victims of bullies. The first part of helping a child with a bully problem is to understand why children become bullies in the first place.

Understanding Your Bully
Children often bully other kids for a wide range of reasons. Children do not wake up one morning and decide to be cruel to other children. There is usually an underlying cause. Many children become bullies because they feel the need to have a victim. This often occurs because the child is a victim of something in one way or another. When choosing a victim, bullies often look for children that appear physically or emotionally weaker. They often look for appearance differences as well.


Children often begin bullying other children because they feel the need to control something or someone; thus, making the bully feel stronger. Although many bullies are often bigger in size than the victims, it is not always the case.

Children become bullies for many reasons. Often, the cause is because of how the children are treated at home. It may be a normal occurrence for that child to be picked on at home. This then makes the child believe bullying is normal. Their family members may call other family members names or shout.

What a child watches on TV can play a role in a child's need to bully. TV shows often promote these characteristics. Many of the shows promote meanness by picking on other characters for their differences. Common shows on TV cast people off or shun them for lack of talents or differences in appearance.

How to Tell if Your Child is Being Bullied
Noticing that your child is a victim of bullying can be difficult. However, there are many signs a parent can look for to tell if their child has been bullied. The most common way to tell if a child has been bullied is obvious bruises or injuries. A child that is being bullied can begin to act differently. They may begin to have sleeping problems, changes in eating habits, and even anxiety. They may begin to lose interest in things they once loved. Often, children that are bullied become moodier and become upset easily. They may begin to avoid situations where they may run into a bully, like parks or buses.

How Your Can Help
If a parent suspects that their child is being bullied there are things you can do to help. A huge step to help a child overcome a bully problem is to offer a lot of support. Many children do not want to discuss this issue with their parents, but it is important to explain to them they have nothing to be ashamed of and you are there to help.

Once a child has become a victim of bullying they may feel like it is their fault because they are "different" in some way. It is important for the child to understand this is not the case and they have done nothing to provoke this behavior. Offer a lot of praise to children who admit they have a problem with a bully because it is very difficult for many children to admit.

Explain to the child that they are not behaving incorrectly and that is why the other child is bullying them. Let them know the bully is acting badly, not them. The parent and the child can help make a solution to overcome this solution.

There may be a friend or family member of the bullied child that has been a victim of bullying. Let the child talk with that person about what they went through and how they overcame that obstacle.
If you know which child is the bully, it may help to talk with that child's parents about the situation. If the parents are unapproachable, talk to the teachers or counselors. It is often difficult for the bully's parents to hear that their child is a bully, for this reason if may be best to hold the conversation with the other parent while someone else is present.  In some cases, the police may need to be called to help deal with the bully.

It is important for the child that has been bullied to understand it is not appropriate behavior to fight back with the bully. Tell them this will solve nothing and can often make the problem worse. Tell the child if they find themselves in a situation with a bully it is best to walk away despite what others are saying. If the situation continues, tell the child to go find an adult to help with the problem.
If the child that is being bullied has a close friend, tell the child to stick with them. Bullies are less likely to strike when they are out numbered. Try to explain to the child they should not get upset about the bully. Try and get them to ignore the bully and their comments.

Being a parent of a bullied child can be very difficult. Luckily, there are many things a parent can do to help.Kidshealth.org has a lot of helpful information about handling bullies.

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